Kevin & Bean’s: People Are Dumb

If There's One Thing We Know, Its People Are Dumb

November 27, 2019
Bank robber falls three times.

Caddo Parrish Sheriff’s Office

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Kevin searches far and wide to find some of the funniest and craziest stories about people who just aren’t thinking as clearly as they should be. They usually get in trouble for what they do and it makes headlines in the news. When that happens, we find the best of the best and bring you a little something we like to call, ‘People Are Dumb’.

Our first story comes out of Arizona. An Arizona felon is back behind bars following his arrest last Saturday night on a Grand Theft Burrito charge. According to investigators, Timothy Bell 29, approached a man on a Phoenix street eating a burrito and just reached out and took it from him. The stolen property, a felony complaint states, was a “burrito, of a value less than $1,000.” It sounds like this burrito was made of gold. He was booked into Maricopa County jail on a felony robbery charge. He probably had a couple of prior charges.

Grand Theft Burrito
Phoenix Police Dept.

A DUI suspect 20, offered cops a brilliant explanation for why he reeked of alcohol. This guy, an Illinois man drove his car into a ditch and explained to police, the reason why he smelled like alcohol is that, he had been making out with his girlfriend and she had been drinking all night. They gave him a field sobriety test and he failed. He “told deputies the reason he smelled like alcohol was that he had been making out with his girlfriend this evening and she had been drinking.” He added, for some unknown reason, that “he made love to his girlfriend because 'We make love, cuz we’re adults now.’”

Kissing Girlfriend DUI
Peoria County Sheriff's Office

A man is accused of attacking his brother for not supporting him for entering ‘America’s Got Talent.’ 25-year-old Gregory Rarey started to tell his brother and his family that he was going to enter into America's Got Talent, but he needed some help with the money. The family told him that they were not going to help him pay for it. Rarey got angry and left when his parents left Rarey returned and found his brother and told him that he was really upset that he wasn’t going to sponsor to be on America's Got Talent. They got into a fight and he punched his brother twice in the face.

Man Attacks Brother
Trumbull County Jail

Albert Heijn is a Dutch Supermarket and apparently they were trying to figure out a way to outfit their entire staff, thousands of employees, with new uniforms. They asked the staff at a branch to submit photos of themselves in underwear or tight-fitting clothing via an app. In their company confirmed that it had been testing the use of an "innovative mobile app" and “It’s not mandatory.” It turns out they got in trouble for it.

Albert Heijn
GettyImages

Finally, everyone loves stories where the news makes fun of people. In this case, the news goes around showing the video of a guy who robbed a bank and fell 3 times in a row trying to get away.  The video shows him running through brush and then just falls face-first right into the bush he pops back up and again face first, and then a third fall. He also got away. You got to love other people also making fun of him. While running away he dropped a mask and some of the cash. Everyone hopes he gets caught soon.