The Fast Food Report with Jensen Karp

Jensen finds new fast food menu items and we decide whether to Eat It or Beat It

February 13, 2020
The Fast Food Report with Jensen Karp

Courtesy of Boston Market

The Fast Food industry and Quick Service Restaurants are always evolving with companies and their kitchens constantly trying new things and testing recipes. They are looking to find new customers and bring them into their restaurants and hopefully earn new customers. Jensen describes these new items to us and we decide if we would try them, or not.

This is a very special Valentine’s Day edition of the Fast Food Report. Very few holidays have this much response in the Quick Service Restaurant industry but, Valentine’s Day for some reason across the board, they all have something going on.

Let’s start at Boston Market where not only are they taking this Friday very seriously but, also changing the game with Bae-by Back Ribs bouquet. This is an alternative to flowers, chocolates or any other basic bitch gifts that are only going to be offered on Valentine’s Day. They are limited-edition and only available while supplies last. It is one dozen baby back ribs assembled in a classic bouquet style just like flowers. With paper wrapping at the bottom. Hand it to a lady like flowers. The Bae-by Back Ribs bouquet, let them bloom this sounds rad or let my wife run off with my dad? Eat It or Beat It, Here’s our take:

As soon as Beer Mug finds a Boston Market around here, he wants his baby back ribs, so Eat It!

Allie would eat a few first then thank the guy who gifted it to her, so Eat It!

Kevin will Eat It!

We move on to Bojangles’ a Cajun Fast Food franchise. Mostly based in the northeast, but ready to aim right for your heart. Only through this Sunday can you purchase Heart-Shaped Bo-Berry Biscuits. Made from scratch and shaped into buttermilk biscuits with blueberry bits stuffed inside, then drizzled with sweet vanilla icing on top. They are a little over a$1 each and a way to be cheap with your love interest. Heart-Shaped Bo-Berry Biscuits from Bojangles’. Give me that sweetness shaped like a heart or bend over in my face and let off a fart? Eat It or Beat It? Here’s our take:

Allie loves that they are in the shape of a heart so she would Eat It!

Beer Mug would love to call that girl Bojangles’ and eat that, so Eat It! (That’s a Ying Yang Twins Reference)

Kevin doesn’t want a fart in the face, so Eat It!

The Fast Food Report with Jensen Karp
Bojangles'

Chick-fil-A may not want you to dine with your same-sex partner but, from now through February 29th you can go to any participating Chick-Fil-A and get 30 of their nuggets, a 10 count of their Chicken Mini’s or a 6 count of the chocolate cookies, and you get them in a heart-shaped box. It’s a silver tin, no bells or whistles? That’s romantic right? So, with this in mind put all the chicken in a heart willingly, or watch a marathon and my feet are killing me? Eat It or Beat It? Here’s our take:

Allie’s never had Chick-Fil-A and she is going to continue that streak, so Beat It!

Despite their recent history Beer Mug loves himself some Chick-Fil-A, so Eat It!

Kevin doesn’t want to eat it, so Beat It!

When you think of date night, you think of Red Lobster. Feel the love by ordering half a dozen of their infamous Cheddar Bay Biscuits from redlobster.com and spend an additional $1 and it’ll be delivered to your sweetheart's door, and it says “You’re my lobster.” A nod to the famous line from Friends. Let's go to Red Lobster with no apologies or enroll me in classes of Scientology? Eat It or Beat It? Here’s our take:

Kevin eat it, eat it, Eat It!!!

Allie is going to eat so much of that, so Eat It!

Beer Mug has never had these cheddar biscuits so if anyone want to send them to his door he will Eat It!

The Fast Food Report with Jensen Karp
Red Lobster

Lastly, Krispy Kreme wants you to think you can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day without Donuts because for the holiday they have introduced 24 different donuts for the special day. Introducing the conversation heart donuts. They are topped with different edible messages similar to sweetheart candies. With sayings on the donuts from "XOXO" to "Love" and "BAE" along with 4 different fillings to choose from cake batter, strawberries, and kreme, original crème and chocolate kreme filled. You can get them individually or part of Valentine’s dozen in a limited edition box. Words on my pastries, that sounds boss or knife me and douse my cuts in hot sauce? Eat It or Beat It? Here’s our take:

Beer Mug loves words on his pastries and it sounds boss, so Eat It!

Allie thinks it sounds delightful so she would also Eat It!

Kevin would order multiples of this, so Eat It!