Kevin in the Morning’s: People Are Dumb

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Kevin in the Morning’s: People Are Dumb

If There's One Thing We Know, Its People Are Dumb

March 10, 2020

Kevin searches far and wide to find some of the funniest and craziest stories about people who just aren’t thinking as clearly as they should be. They usually get in trouble for what they do and it makes headlines in the news. When that happens, we find the best of the best and bring you a little something we like to call, ‘People Are Dumb’.

There’s a woman in England who used dog poo, a loud parrot, music and a campaign of harassment against her neighbors. A woman started a war against her neighbors that started as a parking dispute back in 2004. They were arguing over who could park where on the street in front of their houses. Then, in 2017 things really heated up and this lady really started going crazy. Over the last three years, the arguments have gotten so heated that the woman, Catherine Searle, started figuring out ways to annoy them. First by throwing dog poo, into her neighbor’s garden, sometimes while they were gardening. She’s also 81-years –old, and old enough to know better. The woman was caught 38 times smearing grease over the hoods of her neighbor’s van and car. She also placed sharp tacks underneath the wheels of the van. She would get her parrot to sing music and then play loud Opera music to get her parrot to sing louder and then open her windows to her neighbors.

A Louisiana driver with an expired license plate told police, “I’m really sorry, I’ve been so busy I just forgot. The license plates expired in 1997. He’s been really busy, we can all understand.

An Oklahoma family said they were sleeping when a very polite man, Donald Webb snuck into their living room in the middle of the night. The father of three heard the footsteps downstairs while his three kids and wife were upstairs. He went to check it out, and when he flipped on the lights he saw Webb in the room standing there just frozen like he’d been caught. Webb told him “Listen, I’m not here to hurt you and I’m not stealing anything. Shake my hand so you know I’m telling the truth. The reason I’m here is that I was involved in a high-speed chase, so I’m hiding in your house.”  Investigators said they were never involved in a high-speed chase with this guy. Webb shook the man’s hand again and assured him that he’s not there to cause any problems. He then left, closed a window that was open near the door he walked out of and tried to run away. A very polite intruder. He didn’t get very far though, Oklahoma Police brought a K-9 unit and found Webb crouched down in a ditch covered in scratches and sweat. He was arrested and bond was set at $100,000.00.

This may be Kevin’s favorite story ever! State Police are investigating a theft that happened at a school in Pennsylvania. The State’s police were called to Union School District on Baker St. for reports of a stolen… Juice box. They found a juvenile stole a juice box worth $0.80. No word yet on if it was returned.

Sometimes minor league teams have to do weird promotions to get fans into the stadiums. The Yankees minor league team cancels its promotion night after a huge backlash. The single-A team, Charleston River Dogs released their calendar on Monday. The schedule included an “OJ Simpson Trial Night,” on May 26th. It was set to offer a juicy new spin on the murder trial that happened 25 years ago. We’ll finally receive the verdict that everyone’s been waiting for. Fans will act as our jury, voting with custom paddles to reach verdicts on various topics throughout the night. How many people in a conference room said, “That’s a good idea?” The eyes of the nation will be upon us. Fans will receive an “OJ Trial” shirt upon entering the stadium. "If the shirt don’t fit, you must … see if we have a different size.” And that is People Are Dumb.