Florida always seems to have the craziest news stories

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Kevin, Allie & Jensen's: What’s Up with Florida?

Florida always seems to have the craziest news stories

January 16, 2020

It is stories like these that make us love the sunshine state so much.

This past Monday 34-year-old Calen Holcomb was pulled over by deputies after seeing him attempting to park and almost slamming into a building. They saw he had glassy eyes and smelled alcohol on his breath. Holcomb refused to take a breathalyzer test and he was placed under arrest for suspicion of DUI. However, during all of this, officers say he offered them a month of free MMA training if they would let him go without punishment. He also offered to beat up other suspects as payment. Not only did the officers decline, but they also added Bribery of a Public Servant to his DUI charge.

Calen Holcomb, 34,
Brevard County sheriff’s office

In West Palm Beach 26-year-old Chauncy Lump took Facebook Live to a whole new level. Going under the name, "BlackMan Vs America." He posted a video on Facebook Live threatening President Trump in response to the killing of Gen. Soleimani on Jan. 3rd. He played Middle Eastern music in the background put lotion over his face, a towel on his head, and covered his body with a shower curtain. The police were called, and he told them that he was pretending to be Iranian. The problem was that he stated things like, “Do not play with me I have an AK-47,” “I need to find the Donald because if I don't find him, I am going to have to blow up Broward County," “He killed my leader and no I have to kill him.” He was arrested.

59-year-old Joanne Mercader of Osteen, Fl. was arrested last Saturday. Mercader asked her 65-year-old landlord to do some repairs. When she arrived and knocked on the door, Mercader threw a bucket of feces on her landlord. The suspect initially lied and pretended that she was the one that was attacked with poop. Except for the fact that the poop on her face was dry, and the poop on the landlord was fresh. Officers put two & two together of the number two’s. Mercader was arrested for assaulting her landlord after pretending she was the one that was attacked. Deputies were heard saying, “This was a very crappy situation.”

38-year-old Donald Watts was found in a stranger’s backyard (creep). He was naked and covered in mud from head to toe. Offices found him “Pacing back and forth making loud bird noises.” Deputies attempted to detain him, but Watts punched a deputy and was completely unfazed when shot with a stun gun. When a K-9 unit arrived on-scene to apprehend him, he got on his hands and knees and began to growl like a dog. The dog was released to attack him, Watts and the dog met in the air like something out of The Matrix. As they fought Watts bit the dog's ear off. The deputies were able to arrest him as he struggled with the dog. The dog was fine and was able to have his ear reattached. Watts later tested positive for Meth. Watts is being charged with simple battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting arrest with violence and aggravated battery on a service dog.

Naked Florida man bites K-9, punches and spits on deputies, cops say
Columbia County Sheriff's Office

Not only is Florida crazy in real life, but it’s also crazy online. Gregory Bates of Hillsboro County took to Facebook Marketplace to sell one of his own beloved items. He is asking for $4,500 to purchase his “used, in good condition” heart-shaped potato. It’s a regular potato in the shaped like a heart. It’s been up for a week now, and still no action.  Last week we told you about a Manatee shaped chicken tender that sold for $5,000. Maybe he’s on to something, and maybe because of Florida, we’ll finally be able to find out if. “Do you have chicken fingers?”

Whats Up With Florida?
Facebook Marketplace