Tampa Bay Times

Kevin & Bean's: What’s Up with Florida?

Florida always seems to have the craziest news stories

September 25, 2019

It is stories like these that make us love the sunshine state so much.

Ex-Con’s Aaron Thomas, 31 and Megan Mondanaro 35 were initially stopped by a deputy when they were spotted riding bikes with no lights and were almost hit by a car. When a deputy with the Nassau County Sheriff’s office pulled them over, he noticed they had bloodshot eyes and reeked of booze. They were placed in the backseat of the patrol car. That’s when they started having sex. “While I was outside of my patrol vehicle Megan and Aaron took their clothes off and started to do it,” the deputy wrote in the arrest report. “When I opened the door to stop them Aaron was naked and Megan had her pants down.” The man managed to briefly flee, escaping the hold of the deputy who had tried to remove him from the patrol car, but he was caught shortly after hiding behind a ‘Cold Stone Creamery.’ He was hit with an additional charge of theft because he still had police handcuffs with him when he ran off. They were ultimately booked at the Nassau County detention facility on a slew of charges including DUI, exposing of sex organs.

Passengers on a recent American Airlines flight were left cringing after a woman’s foot blister popped during the flight, in a medical mishap that reportedly splashed blood onto two people on the plane. There is a slide show below if you would like to see it. Why was this lady not wearing socks and shoes? Why, was she in flip flops if that’s what was going on with her janky feet? On Sept. 18, South Florida talk show host Andy Slater took to Twitter to share the disturbing incident which occurred during his flight to Miami, in a post that has received many shares online. “Bloody mess on my flight to Miami. Woman in aisle seat has a blister on her foot pop. Blood splatters across the aisle, including on the two guys in front of me, one of their books, and the window and wall of the plane.” When they landed they were greeted by the Miami-Dade paramedics because of the blood. This easily has to be the worst possible thing that could happen on a flight.

A 65-year-old contractor was arrested last Friday for reportedly causing damage to a home that he helped build. Apparently he was not paid on time so he decided, when no one was home, on Sept. 13, he entered the home using a crowbar and take it out on the house. He smashed all the windows, damage all the individual panels to the garage door and then get on a ladder and climb on top of the roof and start knocking the chimney down. He caused about $39,000 in damages. He is currently in custody in St. Lucie County Jail.

CBS 12 News

A Florida man caused an estimated $30,000 in damages to 20 cars, then told police he did it because “Donald Trump owes me one trillion dollars.” Justin James Wilson, 30, faces 14 felony and six misdemeanor counts of criminal mischief, according to the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office. He smashed the windows of 20 parked cars at a Holiday Inn also scratched the cars with a belt buckle. Officers responded to the scene and found the man passed out in front of the hotel passed out on the bench.  He acknowledged breaking the windows, telling the police, “Take me to jail. I did it because Donald Trump owes me one trillion dollars, and these vehicles belong to the mafia.”

Tampa Bay Times
Tampa Bay Times

A Florida woman has been charged with murder after police say she killed her neighbor, who became upset that she refused to close her blinds while walking around in her house in the nude. Bean is a big proponent of walking around naked in your house and apparently the neighbor disagreed. She went over and said, Look, our children have a clear view of you prancing around your house naked, you got to stop it. The victim sprayed her with mace. In retaliation, she shot the lady dead.

 

Sometimes you get a Florida headline so good that you do not need to go into too much detail to understand why we love America’s most penis-shaped state so much. So for this last story, we’ll leave you with just this headline: “After allegedly yelling at a group of school children and fighting a tree, a shirtless Florida man was arrested in Milton.” That all you need to know, and that’s what’s up, with Florida.

Pensacola News Journal