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The Fast Food Report with Jensen Karp

Jensen finds new fast food menu items and we decide whether to Eat It or Beat It

October 22, 2019

The Fast Food industry and Quick Service Restaurants are always evolving with companies and their kitchens constantly trying new things and testing recipes. They are looking to find new customers and bring them into their restaurants and hopefully earn new customers. Jensen describes these new items to us and we decide if we would try them, or not.

In the past, Burger King has dropped some great holiday items. Now they are releasing the Ghost Whopper. A quarter-pound of beef, topped with sliced tomatoes, lettuce mayonnaise, ketchup pickles, and sliced white onions. Yes, that sounds like a normal Whopper but, there is one big difference. This is on a white cheddar cheese flavor, white sesame bun. Its paler than Conan O’Brien. They say it’s because a ghost has been inserted into the bun and it’s haunted. Only 10 locations in the world are selling this whopper and the two closest are in San Diego and San Francisco, so plan a day trip if you want to try it. Do you eat the spirit of the Holy Ghost or demand the return of golden toast? Here’s our take:

Beer Mug loves the home of the Whopper and he’ll be able to say that his Whopper went ghost on him, so Eat It!

Allie thinks invoking the Holy Ghost seems sacrilegious but, Eat It!

Kevin likes the Whopper, so Eat It!

Continuing with the Trick in Trick or Treat, let’s move over to Papa John's. A pizzeria known for its pie and definitely nothing else controversial, they have released the Jack-O’-Lantern pizza. It’s a large thin crust pepperoni pizza decorated with a pepperoni border, a pepperoni smile, and pepperoni triangle eye sockets and finished up with black olive eyes. It looks like a human face, especially before Jensen took Accutane. This will only run you $11 dollars and it is available only through October 31st. Light that puppy up or fight that sucky yuck?  Here’s our take:

Allie is allergic to cheese, so Beat It!

Kevin will take Allie’s advice from hand motions, so Beat It!

According to Beer Mug, any food that has a happy face on it makes it that much better and he loves pepperoni, so Eat It!

With Halloween around the corner, that means it only a hop, skip and a jump to thanksgiving. Our pal’s at Fatburger know the deal by introducing the brand new turkey burger. Feel like a pilgrim with this holiday twist on the chain’s classic turkey burger featuring a turkey patty topped with cranberry jelly, cranberry mayo, lettuce, pickles and onions on a plain bun. It’s a Thanksgiving dinner between 2 pieces of bread. They will only be around for a short amount of time for about $8 dollars, so Surround yourself with family and give thanks or become emancipated and get shanked? Here’s our take:

Kevin will eat it because it sounds good, so Eat It!

Allie was trying to eat it before Jensen was even done describing it, so Eat It!

Beer Mug agrees with Allie thinks Thanksgiving food is awesome, so Eat It!

We don’t get to talk about bagels too much on the Fast Food Report, but this week we get to remedy that. The folks at the Einstein Bros. Bagels are testing a new breakfast item that takes the traditional bagel and mashes it up with, a burrito. Welcome the Bagelrito. It features two cage-free eggs, thick-cut bacon, turkey sausage, three kinds of cheese, hash browns salsa and green chilies wrapped in a flour tortilla and wrapped again into a bagel and then baked again until its golden brown. It’s currently being tested only in Colorado, with the hope of it going national. Here’s our take:

Allie thinks it’s too doughy, so Beat It!

Beer Mug believes this would further the already good standing relationship between the Jews and the Mexicans, he will eat it, so Eat It!

Kevin is out, too difficult, so Beat It!

Panda Express is best known for its orange chicken, and rightfully so, because it’s delicious. But their newest development being exclusively tested in their Panda Express innovation kitchen in Pasadena is the Pastrami Bao bun. It is a mash-up of the Taiwanese street food classic and the American deli sandwich combining hickory liquid smoked pork belly with pastrami spices topped with pickled cucumbers and a sweet-savory sauce all in a fluffy and light Bao bun. They hope to see a positive test reaction to roll it out nationally. Can the Jewish people and the Taiwanese people live in harmony or is this idea totally scaring me? Here’s our take:

Beer Mug stays committed to doing anything he could do to further the already good standing relationship between the Taiwanese and the Jewish people he will do, so Eat It!

Allie will be more than happy to eat that with Mel Brooks, so Eat It!

It sounds good to Kevin, so Eat It!


Finally, for dessert, we go to Japan because Mc Donald’s there has a new exclusive item there has caught Jensen’s attention. They are teaming up with Japan’s Granny Smith’s Apple Pie Coffee Shop. To release the apple pie latte. You can order it hot or cold, and start with the combination of apple pie flavored syrup espresso blended with your choice of cold or hot milk. Both drinks are finished with apple pie flavored whipped cream crushed cigar cookies and a drizzle of apple sauce. These will only be available through November in Japan. My coffee could use a little apple and granny or no thank you, please kill my entire family? Apple Pie Latte at Mc Donald’s. Here’s our take:

Kevin thinks it sounds good, so Drink It!

Allie loves her family and she doesn’t want them to die, so Drink It!

Apple pie is one of Beer Mug’s all-time favorites, so Drink It!