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Gabel’s story below as sparked intense debate. People are heated over the transgender topic. Read here.

Tom Gabel, lead singer for punk powerhouse Against Me! reveals he’s been living as a woman and will begin the trans-gender process in the current issue of Rolling Stone.

Gabel tells RS that he’s battled with gender dysphoria for years and will begin taking hormones and undergoing electrolysis treatments to start the transformation. According the report, Gabel will change names to Laura Jane Grace, and stick with wife Heather.

The St. Augustine, Florida resident has treated this as a private ordeal until now.

I’m going to have embarrassing moments,” says Gabel, “and that won’t be fun. But that’s part of what talking to you [RS] is about – is hoping people will understand, and hoping they’ll be fairly kind.”

Looking back at lyrics from Gabel’s song “The Ocean,” it’s clear that he was ready to tell the story to his fans.

And if I could have chosen, I would have been born a woman
My mother once told me she would have named me Laura
I’d grow up to be strong and beautiful like her
One day, I’d find an honest man to make my husband
We would have two children, build our home on the Gulf of Mexico
Our family would spend hot summer days at the beach together
The sun would kiss our skin as we played in the sand and water
And we would know we loved each other without having to say it

At night, we would sleep with the windows of our house left open
Letting the cool ocean air soothe the sunburned shoulders of our children

There is an ocean in my soul where the waters do not curve
There is an ocean in my soul where the waters do not curve

Against Me! is currently in studio recording their sixth studio album and will head out this month for U.S. and European tours with alt-rock legends, The Cult.

To better understand who this band is and what they stand for, watch their 2004 tour DVD titled Never Going Home.

[metrolyrics artist=”against me” song=”the ocean”]

Comments (333)
  1. Misty says:

    He says he’s not attracted to men but his lyrics refute that, and he’s still in denial.

    I feel sorry for his wife – this is not what she agreed to when they took their vows.

    Maybe at some point he can admit he’s attracted to men and be truly honest.

  2. tibanousky says:

    lol he’ll just be even more dickless than he already is

  3. Sane man says:

    this guy is sick. he needs help.

  4. The Dude says:

    Look I feel for this Mr. Gabel and his “gender dysphoria” Maybe there is even an underlying genetic component that has caused his suffering.

    However, if an individual is genetically predisposed to psychosis, do we call his mental disorder “normal” or do we treat it with medication? How about a biopolar disorder? ADD? Are these not all mental illnesses with genetic origins? Why is gender dysphoria any different? Shouldn’t gender dysphoria be treated like any of these other mental disorders?

    The question I have is should our society seek to encourage gender mutilation and hormone therapy as a treatment and call this normal? Is this not just giving in to the underlying disorder of gender dysphoria?

    Or should we approach Mr Gabel’s condition with a more scientific eye that reflects the true compassion of a civilized society.

    The Dude.

    1. manny says:

      because bipolar disorder is a harmful illness. Being gay or transgender doesn’t harm anyone. A woman trapped in a man’s body doesn’t want to stop being a woman. And why are you people assuming you know how his family feels? Why do you people think you know things like that?

  5. ? says:

    I’m just afraid the hormones will change his voice. I wonder what the future of the band will be.

  6. enoughAlready911 says:

    The world will be a better place once this guy has his d!ck cut off.

    He doesn’t deserve one. To call him a pnssy is somewhat redundant.


  7. Offcology says:

    Unfortunately for this beleaguered individual, he will not be transforming himself into a woman with this surgery, but rather, he will merely become a man without a dick.

  8. Server says:

    Another freak… By choice!
    The u.s. is all but over..allowing this and the other lefty socialists a place.

  9. Vageww says:

    Who cares if he has a penis or if she has a vagina. Folks are so quick to judge, vaginas are not that great anyways… I’m assumiing a penis isnt either if he’s willing to give it up. Cheers!

  10. Hugh Jorgan says:

    I guess he finally decided to be open about the fact that he was a lesbian trapped in a man’s body. Good for her.

  11. NessaMunsta says:

    I support Tom Gabel transitioning to Laura Jane Grace! I wish you all the best luck and I wish that you will have a great support system to help you get through this. To all the haters, worry about your own hypocritical lives. I will love Against Me! forever! And Against Me does not need bigot ass haters as fans anyway!

  12. Maddddd_dogggggg says:

    I’m sure glad he didn’t think he should have been a fish. Would they cut off his feet and stitch on a tail? Surgically implant some synthetic gills? This is not medicine, it’s a freak show!

    1. manny says:

      You people make me sick. Every transgendered person living a happy life isn’t enough for you people, even if they raise perfectly adjusted kids. How about worry about your own damn kids? Seriously, anyone who has a problem with this is a faggot.

      1. Maddddd_dogggggg says:

        Your remark is sooooo gay!

  13. Shiniestapple says:

    Who cares…

  14. Chet says:

    Hooray!! I’m Gay… Yippie I Oh Ki Yea!!! It’s my life accomplishment look at me!!! I’m a freak!!! Look out, you better give me that job or I’ll sue!! Don’t look at me strange or I’ll call Eric Holder and he’ll throw you in jail. I’m COOL…I’m GAY!!! Hooray!!!

  15. Yvonne says:

    I am shocked at how much hate there is in these comments. Why can’t we let Laura live her life as she wants to live it? To the people saying her wife will break up with her…a relationship is not purely physical! Hopefully, when you fall in love and marry someone you are doing it because you love them and not because you love that they chose a certain gender expression. Laura could very well continue to live male-bodied but if she has chosen to make the change to a female body then we should respect that decision. It is her and her partner’s decision, not yours or mine. As for the child, there are plenty of successful single/homosexual parents, proving that the presence of the stereotypical “mother and father” is not necessary for proper development of the child. If anything, there appears to be a higher degree of tolerance among children who came from same-sex parent households. And let’s not forget that sex and gender are completely different. Laura was born male because of her anatomy but she may not feel that her gender is masculine. Let her be!

  16. I find other people’s comments on these issues are always amusing. Everyone tries to turn it into the “downfall of society” or “end of the world”. I personally don’t give a sh*t what other people choose to do with their lives and no one else should either. It’s none of our business. You don’t know him/her and what they are thinking/feeling/living. You live & believe what you want and let everyone else do the same.

  17. Rodney says:

    LOL wow…..and we should give a shit why hes doing this…..I know why….he is just taking it to the next level of Alice Cooper…KISS…Marylin Manson….David Bowie and every other band who tries shock value to set them different from everyone else…..but guess what …Peter from Dead or Alive already did it…Your music is still gonna suck weather your a man or a woman….Nu metal has killed the industry…its all homogenized by the record company in what you should listen too….There aren’t artists anymore…..They just make shit on a MAC and call it trendsetting

  18. becker says:

    Wow people can be messed up -______- Tom should be able to do whatever makes him happy, if that happens to be becoming a woman, then go for it. If sitting at your computer typing hateful comments makes you happy then by all means, go for it. At least Tom done something meaningful with his life, unlike every douche here :] Tom/Laura has all my support, love and best wishes. ❤

    1. PalomaGenios says:

      Approval if immoral behavior is not showing him true love and support….trying to prevent him from running headlong into the fire is.

  19. Matt says:

    How does this story mean anything to anyone other than the patient and his family? I understand that AM fans are probably pissed off, but at the end of the day, it is a personal decision he is making. It has nothing to do with liberal v. conservative, atheist v. christian, moral v. immoral. The dude is making a choice that he believes is best for him and his family. Whether it is or not isn’t for anyone else to decide other than those it actually affects. Remember the whole, judge not lest ye be judged, and let he who is without sin cast the first stone? Give it a shot. His decision doesn’t affect any of our lives in the slightest.

  20. Thomasino says:

    Having known Tom for something like 17 years now, this news comes as a complete and total shock to me. I had never had any idea any of this was going on. Part of that makes me think that this may be some weird publicity stunt, but also knowing Tom, I find it hard to believe he’d make a joke out of such an issue. All I can say is if this is what helps an old friend conquer some demons, I hope it works. I really don’t understand it on some level, but perhaps it’s not for me to understand. My only concern in this is how will this decision affect his daughter in the years to come. Oh and to all the countless people questioning the “punk” qualifications of against me! or Tom, trust me, the guy grew up straight up punk rock. Played in bands like the adversaries and common affliction, ran the misanthrope label/zine, did food not bombs ( in ultra conservative Naples fl) and constantly had to fight, for years, against people in this town who labeled him one thing or another based on nothing more than what he looked like. So maybe I doesn’t appear so today to people who only know Tom from an album or magazine, but us who knew him before he became a household name know him to be legit, as far as punk rock is concerned.

  21. k in Denver says:

    Mama’s boy…Probably have her preserved when she dies too. Sicko.

  22. Jessica says:

    As a woman I find this disgusting that a man feels he can invade my gender and make a mockery of all women by trying to appropriate what he thinks a woman is. Through the social patriarch he has probably deluded himself into thinking being female is an easy life and wants it for himself, as well as forming his life around twisted fantasies furthering the sexual objectification of women in society.

    1. I find it disgusting that you are a closed minded hate filled bigot.

    2. manny says:

      You’re right Jessica. The essence of womanhood lies right between your legs. At least that’s all I see.

  23. I had no clue KROQ fans were such hate filled f**ks. Oh wait, yes I did. Disgusting. Just like I don’t mock you for your choice to base your life off a fairy tale that is 2000+ years old, you shouldn’t judge Laura for her choice. I will keep supporting Against Me! and I wish Laura all the best of luck in her transformation.

    1. Angry Motherfucker says:

      Damn straight. Nicely said.

  24. Nuggs says:

    For all of you Religious wack jobs that claim high ground because of your faith and disapprove of what Tom/Laura is doing- What about individuals born with both male a female parts? Are they going to hell? What about women who get breast implants? What about men who get hair implants? What about facelifts and all the other plastic surgery??? These are all examples of people changing their apperance! What about Garth Brooks becoming Chris Gaines? David bowie becoming Ziggy Stardust?
    After reviewing all the hateful comments (mostly by what look like Christians) I safely say that these religious wack jobs cause far more harm than good! If people could just treat other like they would like to be treated and forget all the other bullshit the world would be a much better place..

    If you believe god made you then how can you alter your apperance without going to hell? Hair color, weight, hair length, tanning etc??

    Keep drinking the Koolaid Wackjobs the real world is a fascinating place.

    1. Whatistheworldcomingto says:

      your comments are insulting. If you truly understood what transgender-ism does to people you would understand that it causes more harm then good. Why is the suicide rate almost 50% with transgender individuals? Instead of caring about the true well being of people, any sick wacko psychiatrist will approve hormone therapy and approve surgery to pretty much any of these individuals.. And as far as using arguments that try to make parallels between getting a boob job and chopping of a penis.. its completely different.. when is that last time you heard of someone committing suicide because they decided they didn’t like their boobs.. Boob jobs are reversible.. chopping your penis off isnt.. Take a logic class idiot and make a better case for this next time.

      1. Nuggs says:

        I am very proud that I insulted you! espically after calling me an idiot.. If the suicide rate is 50% (which I doubt) it is more than likely because of hate, judging, and insults by people like you who think Santa Clause will save the world and anyone living a different lifestyle will burn in Hell. I guarantee you are a conservative, christian, right wing republican, straight, white, american

        My comment and the logic is pretty simple UNLESS you drink the Koolaide, which you obviously do..

        Good luck with that

      2. Whatistheworldcomingto says:

        you are wrong in your assumptions about me.. I never would hate or insult a transgender person.. they are people who are going through alot in their life… one of my good friends is going through it right now.. and it breaks my heart to see how rough it is on her just from a medical standpoint..I have done alot of research on this and talked to many people AND even had my friend admit to me that the suicide rates are very high in the TG community not only from people hating them (which is the wrong reaction for anyway to have) but because they dont find satisfaction after they mutilate their bodies.. (you should read more before you act like you know what your talking about)..

        Let me guess.. you drink the Obama koolaid?? As for your logic.. all you do is spew attacks on unfounded judgements… you have not said anything of real value in your comments. You should seriously learn how to argue so you dont make yourself look like and uneducated fool.

      3. Nuggs says:

        Haha I was right about you being a Right Wing Republican..

        I am not an Obama supporter!

        You have called me an “idiot” and a “fool” and I have made no personal attacks on you.

        Rather than resorting to name calling (like you). I want to Thank you!!!

        Thank you for reminding me that it is impossible to have a reasonable discussion with an adult who still believes in santa Clause.

  25. Ollie says:

    Hypocrisy at its best. All you pointing the finger can’t see where the other four are pointing at? You all mostly men come to a website that’s full of lusty women when I’m sure you’re disrespecting your wife and marriage that falls into religion and who’s bashing you no one so live and let live. Gosh all the negative cmnts come from ppl who still have a cavemen mentality.. Dudes c’mon sucks!. The day we accept eachother how we are that day we all be at peace. if you don’t agree good for you. Just don’t hate and kill in the name of God I’m 100% sure that’s not his teachings! God love us all exactly how we are and feel. God makes no mistake. He doesn’t choose who he loves and forgives he loves us all there is a covenant! Just carry on, don’t destroy others just because they don’t drive religion to their convenience. Peace out!

  26. marissa9513 says:

    tom gabel is amazing and will still be the same inside, but now, outside as well. i think he should be respected in his choice and no matter what certain people say, he shouldn’t be hated.

  27. Kathy says:

    This is Laura’s decision. Plain and simple, a human being has the right to do what they want to themselves. Tom wants to be a woman? I give her props. Huge fan of Against Me! for years and always will be. A human being should be comfortable within their own skin, and if they’re not, should do what they can to feel this way. Ignorant people’s comments should be left out. Society should be more open-minded, and less judgmental. It’s amazing that he’s doing this. It really is.

  28. Keith says:

    You ignorant people saying these horrid things need to focus on your life. If you’re on here hate-spewing, chances are YOU’RE the one that needs the psychologist/psychiatrist to figure out why you’re getting so worked up over someone you’ll never meet. This person should be loved like any other, and I hope I have half the courage when life’s next struggle hits me.

  29. betty says:

    “When you live in a just, principled society with an established value system, it’s normal to have taboos. One Statist agenda is to remove such taboos in order to create an unprincipled, laissez-faire society, where the populace is too busy getting doped up and having sex with anything that moves to care what the few elites in power do.”


    “Look I feel for this Mr. Gabel and his “gender dysphoria” Maybe there is even an underlying genetic component that has caused his suffering.

    However, if an individual is genetically predisposed to psychosis, do we call his mental disorder “normal” or do we treat it with medication? How about a biopolar disorder? ADD? Are these not all mental illnesses with genetic origins? Why is gender dysphoria any different? Shouldn’t gender dysphoria be treated like any of these other mental disorders?”

    Both excellent points, thank you! Another point i wanted to add is that adults discuss the criticism, while crybabies discuss how everyone feels about the criticism. Here’s an example:

    Adult: I notice that group X engages in harmful behavior and here’s my evidence.

    Crybaby: You’re phobic! I’m not gonna discuss your assertion or your evidence at all cos it’s all phobic! wah wah wah.

  30. Slim says:

    I just hope someone has the balls to beat this guy, “her”, IT, to death. And why is this in the news? What is the media trying to promote by promoting this as if it is acceptable. Tom Gabels is a sick, disgusting individual. The only reason IT’s doing this is because ITs rich from taking teenagers money.

    All you pussy atheist liberals want to talk about equal rights? I have the right to my opinion, as well as any other rational person. And this story is sickening, and all you people who are like “leave him alone”, anti-“bigots”, who support this are just as disguisting.

    Against Me! and their lead singer, and the whole punk scene is officially a joke. And when IT dies, Tom Gabels will forever will remembered as a sicko and a pervert.

    “Woman inside a Man’s body”? Get out of here.

    You’re saying God (not that any of you who disagree with me believe in or personally Know) made a mistake when he was born? A mistake that only 21st century science and cosmetic surgery could corrent? Like I said, he would even be able to be a tranny if not for all the teenagers who pay to support his life style.

    So if a black person feels ‘caucasian’ on the inside they should bleach their skin?

    What the hell is the media trying to promote?

    This news article represents the degradation of rational thought in this world.

    his wife is clearly on something else, anything she’s sicker than he/it is

    you people who support this clearly don’t have children of your own, and if you’re the kind of person who accepts a man turning into a drag queen, do the rest of the planet a flavor and don’t reproduce.

    stupid idiots=drag queens, gays, lesbians, democrats, bi-curious teenagers, are doing nothing to make this world a better place. they are not fit to live.

    i hope someone(s) does the world a favor by taking the person who used to be call tom gabels out of it.

    and know they are people out there who concur.

  31. YHVH says:

    who am i kidding? its not his fault. it’s bushs, not its reagans.

    truthfully i don’t care, he’s just another attention whore like lady gaga or justin bieber.

    they feed off the masses thinking and talking about them.

    I don’t care, this news article was very disappointing. its a shame he couldnt be a postive remodel for young males.

    All I know is I will not be listening to Against Me!

    See Tom Gabel? Look at all this time you made me waste focusing on all the unimportant details from your stupid personal life, youre no better than the rest of everyone whos starving for attention.

    i hope you get what you ask for.

    anyways this is the last time i’m going to be paying attention to this individual.

    this is exactly want he wants from people, a reaction.

    screw tom gabels (as in physically piercing)

  32. Caz says:

    What a pity to see so many people making hateful, bigoted comments about a subject they obviously know nothing about. Gender dysphoria isn’t “sick” or perverted, it’s definitely not a choice you make and gender reassignment surgery IS the treatment for it, in some situations. Further, gender has nothing to do with sexuality and we should applaud Laura Jane’s wife Heather for loving the person she married unconditionally; would that everyone transgender individual had someone so supportive in their life! To all those who’ve typed something hateful on the basis of YOUR interpretation of the Bible.. go look up where Jesus says “thou shalt not trade thy penis in for a vagina” or vice versa and post a reference.. I’d love to see it.

    1. Ron Marlar says:

      You have approached this subject with dignity and decorum. I will do the same.
      What a pity to see you struggling to justify the unjustifiable, encouraging tolerance of the intolerable, making hateful, bigoted comments about others while accusing others of making hateful, bigoted comments. A clue for you: Labeling others and their opinions hateful and bigoted is hateful and bigoted of you.
      Also you make obvious you know nothing about gender dysphoria and the options open to Gabel/Grace short of sex change/gender reassignment or of the Bible, since you mentioned it.
      Although I doubt it, you might benefit from reading definitions of dysphoria with particular attention to such words as disquiet, restlessness, malaise, dissatisfaction, anxiety, fidgeting, unease, restlessness, malaise, dissatisfaction, anxiety, fidgeting, unease, unhappy, unwell emotional state and depression. A few of those words clearly indicate sickness. None of those words nor actual practice limit treatment to surgical sex change aided with chemicals – over-the-counter or prescription drugs.
      So, surgical sex change is unarguably a choice, not a requirement.
      It is perverted if for no other reason that an innocent child is involved.
      You could not be more wrong on these points: 1) Gender has a lot to do with sexuality. 2) Heather married Tom Gabel a male with a penis and testicles, and man breasts. After Gabel’s choice she is married to Laura Jane Grace with an artificial vagina, no ovaries or womb and if Gabel goes all the way womanlike breasts. 3) There is no rational reason to applaud anyone involved in this mess. 4) Unless you were at the wedding or have read or heard the vows you have no way of knowing the conditionality or unconditional nature of their marriage. 5) The situation was of a man married to a woman and them the father and mother of an innocent child. The situation after the voluntary sex change surgery is of an artificial woman married to a woman and a child most likely to suffer horrendous confusion in its so changed by a selfish, self-centered father uncaring for the child in this situation.
      Your command for readers of your warped stack of opinions, totally without merit, to go look up where Jesus says … something you know good and well Jesus did not address.
      Sadly for you, Tom, Heather, their daughter and others foolish enough to support the two adults in this situation, God did address homosexual, lesbian behaviors and cross-dressing in the Old and New Testaments. God called it an abomination.
      That’s what you and they need to see, but it is most likely too late in their cases. Indeed, Tom has said he has been living as a woman even before becoming Laura Jane.
      God and Christians still love all of you, but your punishment is certain unless all of you repent, beg forgiveness and accept Jesus the Christ-Messiah as your personal savior.
      That is not a hateful, bigoted statement but rather a statement of love offered in hope for all of you.
      I am curious why it took so long for your post to get to me.

      1. palomagenios says:


        That was a good factual and truthful response.

        I would concur that there are no winners in this self-serving manner of dealing with an identity crisis, but quite pointedly, a child growing up in this environment can only emerge totally twisted as to the role of father and mother and protector and nuturer.

        These are the result of twisted sexual spirits that may have gain entry into his life possible through his own trauma of childhood sexual abuses, which is quite common….non the less, repentance and forgiveness and healing is the antidote….not the further propagation of the perversion.

        This truly is a scourge on society and yet predicted sign of the times. God can still reach the man,…if he is willing to be reached.

      2. Nuggs says:

        So let me get this straight… I will be punished if I don’t accept Jesus the Christ-Messiah as my personal savior?

        do you realize you are a fucking lunatic?

      3. Ron Marlar says:

        Nuggs, no, I do not realize that, but I see and hear clearly you are an obscene denier of truth and have not read the Book with any comprehension at all.

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