“Death I Hear You Calling, But I Can’t Come Home Right Now…”

David Corio/Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images

Congratulations! Unlike Whitney, you are not mentioned in today’s all new Bean’s Death Corner!

But not everyone has been so lucky this month. Just this week, a Philadelphia man was shot to death in a neighborly dispute over dog poop!

There’s the Chinese man who died doing what he loved: playing video games. The people in the internet cafe where he died must have been obsessed too because you won’t believe how long his corpse sat there before anyone noticed.

How about the guy who jumped into a river to pull a woman out of her sinking car? She was already back on the shore in time to watch her rescuer drown.

We’ve got an update on the worst honeymoon ever. The groom killed the wife for the insurance money. On their honeymoon. They did make it almost a week though.

R.I.P. the doofus guy who saw Bear Grylls live in the wild on TV and thought, “I can do that!” Well, he couldn’t.

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Tyrirk Harris (I would convict him based on his name being “Tyrirk”) apparently lets his two dogs, a German Shephard and a Chihuahua, run wild in his Philadelphia neighborhood and they can poop where they like.

“Not cool,” said Franklin Santana, who had walked two doors down from his house to confront Harris about all the pooping.

Well, Harris had a 9mm gun and used it and now Santana is dead. Over dog poop. What’s the lesson here? Pick your battles? Or take an even bigger gun with you when you go to talk to your neighbor about something?

The Philly NBC-TV station has more here.

PAGE 2 Internet Cafes will kill you.