Loquecia Recaps The Jersey Shore 1/20/12: The Housemates Pay Tribute To Vinny

A new episode of Jersey Shore aired last night on MTV, and no, we still don’t watch it. Ever. But hey, we don’t need to when we have our loyal friend Loquecia to do that for us. She calls in to recap it every Friday for us, and unlike the show itself, Loquecia is very entertaining.

Last week’s episode ended with a depressed Vinny leaving the Jersey Shore house. This week, the remaining housemates are trying their best to come to terms with his departure and carry on as best as they can. Deena is especially hurt, because she says Vinny was her “soul”.  Snooki and she go out for a “Meatball Day”, AKA “go out and get wasted in the middle of the day”.  Deena ends up slightly more sober, explaining she was only “merp, while Snooki was…merp”. What?

Of course, they figure the best way to pay tribute to Vinny is to do what they always do: go clubbing. Pauly D happens upon a heavily tattooed woman, and decides it is a woman who Vinny would’ve liked.  So in Vinny’s honor, Pauly takes the chick home and has sex with her in VINNY’S bed, because it’s what he would’ve wanted.

This week is both Pauly D and The Situations birthdays, so they decide to celebrate it together.  People actually like Pauly, so a bunch of people surprise him at the house, even his favorite barber. However, no one like the Situation, and no one shows up to hang out with him so he gets his feelings hurt.  The episode ends with him also leaving the beach house.