[photogallerylink id=101066]It only took Psycho Mike one week on Dancing With the Stars to turn the entire country against him. Last week, his partner Lacy Schwimmer got a perfect 30 points, added to Psycho Mike’s negative 17, for a total of 13, good for last place. If this is your kind of show, watch the entire episode here.
Mike’s plan? Use the safety of week one to lower expectations as much as possible. Then, on Monday night, as long as he doesn’t crawl on the floor and lick it for 3 minutes, everybody will be talking about how MUCH he’s improved. Genius.
This week he brought in his secret weapon, me, to help him with a few top secret dance moves, guaranteed to launch him straight into the finals.
What you’re about to see, Mike and I started creating back in New York. I was running a night club, and Mike, known then as “Moose”, helped me save the club. You might have seen the documentary movie Step Up 3d about our accomplishments. Notice how girlie his left hand is on my side. Here are just a few of the moves we’re working on.
- The pull-up
- The shopping cart
- The Tarmac
- Grave digger
- Jacking the car
- The Tornado
- Mime in a box
- Siberian pelvic destruction (®) (all rights reserved)
What the hell is with Mike’s bamboo underwear?
Sometimes when you work as hard as we do, you let to let off a little steam. And letting off steam for Mike ALWAYS includes waving his junk in people’s faces.
Before this season, when Mike’s partner Lacey and I met to plan our strategy, we discussed the importance of keeping our dancer on his toes. At any time you have to be ready to protect the family jewels, no matter how small.
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