In this week’s Movie Beat I review Battle: Los Angeles, Jane Eyre, Elektra Luxx, Mars Needs Moms, and Red Riding Hood.
Red Riding Hood:
Starring Amanda Seyfried and Gary Oldman. Set in a medieval village that’s haunted by a werewolf, a young girl falls for a woodcutter, much to her family’s displeasure. Then, of course, she has to deal with the wolf as well. It’s basically Little Red Riding Hood, but on a more adult, Twilighty kind of level.
This is opening in limited release. I never read the book even though I was supposed to in high school. This about a mousey governess who softens the heart of her hard-hearted employer, and they fall magically in love. Women everywhere weep and go out and buy feminine hygiene products. This is starring Mia Wasikowsa, who was also Alice, in Alice in Wonderland.
Carla Gugino stars as Elektra Luxx, the porn star who becomes a sex education teacher at a community college, and then gets involved in a series of wacky circumstances involving her boyfriend, a rockstar, who died of an overdose. She’s got all of the the lyrics to his songs, and the band’s trying to get them back.
There’s a bunch of other girls who are porn stars, who are trying to help her out. Those girls, by the way, are Malin Ackerman, Marley Shelton, Adrianne Palicki, Emmanuelle Chriqui… Yeah, that’s right… Now I’ve got your penis’ attention, don’t I?! Joseph Gordon Levitt also stars, along with Timothy Olyphant. This is in limited release.
Mars Needs Moms:
You see, Martians comes and they start stealing our moms! That’s what happens, and it’s crazy cause we need our moms too, and they take them from us! It’s an animated film for the kids. You can’t go wrong with moms and kids.
Ralph’s Pick of the Week:
Battle: Los Angeles
Marine troops are called upon to defend the city of Los Angeles against an alien invasion. You thought it was bad when illegal aliens were taking our jobs – how about when they’re taking our lives???