Top 10 Songs (& Corresponding Actors) We’d Like The Academy To Use For Stage Dismissal

Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez//Getty Images

Unless you are a movie buff, love drooling over hot actors and actresses, play a hilarious drinking game, or into overwrought demonstrations of fake appreciation for overpaid (usually undeserving) celebrities, watching the Academy Awards can be a boring bust. The musical aspect of the show can be brutal, ranging from cheesy song-and-dance spectacles to yawn-worthy tributes.

One thing we’ve noticed is that the music they usher actors and actresses who have gone over on their speech time is always the same: incredibly boring and super patronizing. So, if they are going to patronize the artists with some orchestral chiding, why don’t they do it with actual songs? We’ve chosen ten songs we’d like to use to kick the world’s finest thespians off stage.

1. Nicole Kidman: Cake-”Sick of You”

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This should be pretty self-explanatory. Nicole Kidman is perfect. She has a perfect face and a perfect body and perfect hair and perfect style and a perfect smile. Admittedly, also a little bit jealous.

But like the lyric from Cake’s song that goes “Every shiny toy/That at first brings you joy/Will always start to croy and annoy,” Kidman is that shiny toy that we are just totally disinterested in playing with. No one can deny she is talented and gorgeous; she is a veritable Aussie automaton. And we are sick of it.

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