5 Celebrities I Want To See Naked And Cooking Me Dinner

I always read about all the hot women that Kevin & Bean want to do the naked hokey pokey with and I’m quite aware of Psycho Mike’s list as well. So, it got me thinking. I want my own list. A list for the ladies if you will.

Actually, what really got me thinking was a spectacularly R rated dream I had the other night with the dude from Sons of Anarchy. Yum to the tenth power.

5. M. Shadows

Now, M. Shadows is tricky because he is a friend of mine AND he’s married. However, all of that is irrelevant in my fantasy world. The boy is scorching hot and when he belts out expletives in Avenged Sevenfold songs, with sinister intentions and heavy metal gravitas, parts of me start to tingle. He’s delicious and adorable and when he sings, I hear the promise of a good time. Sorry M., just being honest.

4. Ryan Reynolds

Ryan Reynolds has come a very long way since his days on Sabrina the Teenage Witch and his role in Van Wilder. The boy has always had chutzpah and is endlessly charismatic, so there’s that, but as of The Amityville Horror, he became a vision of throbbing man meat. He’s the kind of guy that other guys want to hate because he gets to see Scarlett Johansen naked everyday, but you just can’t hate this dude.

3. Christian Bale

I don’t care how many temper tantrums Christian Bale has, he played Patrick Bateman. Enough said. If his hissy fits are any indication of his passion and commitment in the bedroom, sign me up!

2. Alexander Skarsgard

Alexander Skarsgard is the reason I watch True Blood. In fact, I can watch him on mute and call it porn. He is sex on a stick. He can suck, bite, and charm his way through an iron wall. Tall, yum, and scrumptious. Sookie, you are a dumb ass for settling for Bill when you have this fine creature at your disposal. This guy should be illegal.

1. Charlie Hunnam

There is NO law I wouldn’t break for 5 minutes of sexy time with this hot commodity. I wait for Sons of Anarchy every Tuesday with bated breath just to watch him blink an eye. He need not speak or walk. I have considered writing his parents a thank you letter for bringing this heart stopping specimen of a man into the world. Job well done ma and pa! Vroom vroom.