Top 10 Ways To Get Wrecked In Vegas

It’s going to happen anyway, so you might as well embrace it and even find ways to do it more efficiently. Here’s my Top 10 ways to debauch yourself in Vegas.

10.       Spearmint Rhino – Ask for “Candi.”  She’s the chick that can do pushups without using her hands and arms. It’s strange and yet somehow fascinating.

9.      Rio Hotel and Casino – If you’re looking for a place to show off your p-p-p-poker skills then this is the place for you. Plenty of attractive women and a very low number of douchebags.

8.     Spearmint Rhino – Ask for “Destiny.”  You may also recognize her by her ability to pick up a twenty without her hands.

7.    The Palms Hotel & Casino – Specifically club “Moon” somewhere above Playboy Club.  This is the perfect place to take the girl who seems good looking enough to inspect in better lighting, as the roof opens to the stars.  If everything seems in its right place then buy her another drink.

6.    Spearmint Rhino – Ask for “Autumn.” She looks like Anna Nicole pre-death.

5.    The Playboy Club at the Palms Hotel & Casino – Blackjack dealing Playmates might sound like the mythical unicorn.  However, these bunny-costumed-card-peddling vixens make losing money much less painful.

4.     Spearmint Rhino – Ask for “Bliss.”  An exotic dancer that can lift a drink to her mouth without using her hands.

3.    The Hard Rock Hotel and Casino – Carey Hart’s new club, “Wasted Space” gives new definition to the meaning. Tons of super hot waitresses and the best music in town.

2.    Spearmint Rhino – Do NOT ask for or even make eye contact with “Ingrid.”  She’s the leggy Russian that can beat you without the use of her arms.

1.     The Gun Store – Firing thousands of rounds from an M-60 while intoxicated always a good time.